Isn't That Rich Podcast

Being a stay-at-home mom is often called “priceless,” but the truth is, if you hired out every role, from childcare to chef to chauffeur, the bill could top six figures a year. And yet, too many moms are left out of the financial conversations that their very work makes possible.

That’s why we sat down with financial and wellness coach Anna Goff. She’s passionate about helping moms claim a seat at the table, and not just in theory. Anna lived this story herself. She spent fourteen years at home with her kids, only to discover during her divorce how unprotected she really was. No credit in her name. No paycheck to prove her worth. Even renting an apartment felt like climbing a mountain in flip flops. That season opened her eyes, and instead of becoming bitter, she turned it into a mission: helping women prepare for life’s curveballs by planning ahead, while their marriages are still healthy.

Her message is simple but powerful: the goal isn’t fear, it’s confidence. It’s about trading uncertainty for a plan so your family is stronger in every season.

The Real Value You Already Bring

Ask any stay-at-home mom what her job title is, and you’ll get a laugh, it’s not one, it’s dozens. Tutor. Chauffeur. Chef. Nurse. Holiday magic-maker. And the catch? None of those come with a paycheck or retirement plan. If you tallied the costs of outsourcing them all, you’d easily hit $150,000 to $250,000 a year.

But the financial value is only part of it. Moms carry the invisible load that holds a household together, the orthodontist appointments, the last-minute school closures, the soccer cleats that never seem to fit. Even when tasks are outsourced, it’s usually mom who researches vendors, schedules appointments, and keeps the family machine running. And don’t forget the emotional work: being the one kids call when they’re sick, remembering every field trip form, or creating Christmas magic with stocking stuffers and wrapped gifts for every cousin.

Anna mentioned the book Fair Play by Eve Rodsky (and noted there’s also a documentary). She recommended it because it breaks down the invisible load of domestic labor that often falls on women, whether they work outside the home or not, and gives couples a framework for dividing responsibilities more fairly.

Anna put it plainly: just because this work doesn’t show up on a W-2 doesn’t mean it’s not real. It’s the very reason the other spouse can show up so fully at work. Without recognition, though, this role becomes invisible, and that invisibility leads to resentment.

When Time Isn’t Valued Equally

One of the biggest tensions in marriages isn’t the money itself, it’s how each partner’s time is valued. If the breadwinner’s hours are seen as “real work” while the stay-at-home partner’s hours are brushed off as “just being home,” resentment creeps in.

It can look like this:

• He grabs new golf clubs guilt-free, but she hesitates to replace her yoga pants.

• He comes home, turns on the game, and feels entitled to relax, while her “shift” never ends.

• Her Amazon boxes full of school supplies and toilet paper get criticized, while his hunting gear goes unquestioned.

The message becomes clear: his time and spending matter more. As Anna reminded us, both partners get the same 24 hours a day. Respecting those hours equally is the foundation of a healthy marriage.

The good news? Couples can rebalance. Shared calendars help make the invisible load visible. Setting off-duty hours for each partner guarantees rest. Agreeing on a set amount of “fun money” for both removes the parent-child dynamic around spending. Even a simple weekly check-in can keep small annoyances from snowballing.

Why Prenups and Postnups Aren’t Doom-and-Gloom

“Prenup” and “postnup” make a lot of people squirm. They sound cold, clinical, even unromantic. But Anna reframed them beautifully. They aren’t about predicting divorce. They’re about building transparency and fairness from the start, like insurance. You don’t buy car insurance expecting a wreck, you buy it because life is unpredictable.

These agreements force conversations couples often avoid: How will we handle debt? What happens if one of us steps out of the workforce? What does retirement look like? And they protect both partners, not just the one with more money. For the stay-at-home spouse, a prenup can make sure retirement savings keep growing, contributions are recognized, and she doesn’t walk away empty-handed after years of invisible work.

Far from being unromantic, Anna sees them as one of the most loving things you can do. They say: I care enough about you to protect you, no matter what life brings.

Putting Money Where the Value Is

When one partner doesn’t have a paycheck, money can quickly feel unbalanced. That’s where fair compensation comes in. Some couples create a monthly stipend, not an allowance, but recognition that household work has value. Others add retirement contributions through a spousal IRA so both futures keep building. Some even write postnup agreements that assign value to years spent at home.

The point isn’t to turn marriage into a business deal. It’s to send the message: your work matters, and you deserve financial independence, too.

Red Flags to Pay Attention To

Even in good marriages, there are warning signs:

• Secrecy around accounts or tax returns

• Your name missing from major assets

• No personal credit or bank account in your own name

• An allowance mentality that limits freedom

• Being discouraged from working because it’s “not worth it”

• Getting shut out of money conversations altogether

These aren’t just financial red flags, they’re relationship ones. Transparency and joint ownership aren’t optional if you want a true partnership.

A Simple Way to Structure Accounts

Anna loves keeping it simple: a joint account for household money, plus equal personal accounts for guilt-free spending. In dual-income families, splitting bills by percentage of income instead of 50/50 keeps things fair. And automating savings—whether for retirement, emergencies, or a spousal IRA, means the future is always being funded alongside the present.

The structure matters less than the message it sends: we’re equals here, and both our choices have space.

If You Feel Behind or Shut Out

Maybe you’re realizing you don’t know much about your family finances. You’re not alone. Anna recommends starting gently: gather what you already know, pick the right time for a calm conversation, and frame it as teamwork. Lead with curiosity, not confrontation. Offer to share the load. And if resistance continues, bring in a neutral third party.

This isn’t about mistrust, it’s about making sure both partners can carry the future together.

Myths That Need to Go

Culture hands moms a suitcase full of myths: that they sit around all day, that they don’t contribute financially, that they’re the big spenders, that they shouldn’t complain, or that they’re lucky not to have a “real job.” Every one of these myths is false, and worse, they devalue women inside their own homes.

The truth? Stay-at-home moms are CEOs of their households. Their work saves the family thousands, fuels the breadwinner’s career, and holds the family together.

What Anna Wants Every Mom to Know

At the end of the day, Anna’s message is clear:

• You are valuable.

• You deserve to know what’s going on with the money.

• You are an equal in your marriage.

• You should have a hand in your future.

• Wanting inclusion isn’t selfish, it’s love.

It’s okay to stir the pot if it means creating a healthier, safer future. Ask questions. Put your name on things. Build credit. Fund your retirement. Keep the conversation going as life changes.

You’re not asking for too much. You’re asking for the same care and commitment you give your family every single day.